Is That A Phat?

Oh my google! Kimora Lee Simmons got sacked. 

What is the world coming to, when co-founding the company doesn’t guarantee job security? You’re telling me firing the boss is an option? 

We’re not happy this happened, tears are dripping onto my keyboard as I write,  (not from laughing, honest) but you must admit, you feel a little bit better about getting sacked too. Less of, why did it happen to me and more of, it happens. And here’s the ringer, she got fired for using body doubles (the audacity!), blowing through the company budget in  excessive Photoshop and over-paying herself and her children to be in advertising.  Is that all?  Imagine losing your job for wanting to look pretty and providing  well for your family. My sympathies Kimmy.

But she still can’t cut in front me in the unemployment benefits line.

Becoming Fearless

“The worst sorrows in life are not 

its losses and misfortunes, but its fears.” 

– Arthur Christopher Benson 1862 – 1925

What is your greatest fear? Most of us have a few, but if you could pick only one, what would it be?

Frogs, clowns, deep water, darkness, public speaking, elevators, peaches (yeah I know, there's a video on YouTube). We could do this all day and still miss something that affects someone else. I have a few, but the one that really gets me is (I can hardly type the word) centipedes. Shudder. I pause a moment to collect myself.

But such fears seem less menacing when staring the loss and misfortune of unemployment in the face. Not working brings with it a whole new abyss of terrors in the night and in broad daylight too.

The Practical Fear

 How will I make rent? How do I pay bills? What happens when my credit card limit is breached, how will I buy groceries then?

The Relationship Fear

How will this affect my spouse? Can one salary support us? What do I tell the children about that trip to Disney? Can I afford to keep the dog (he eats more than I do)? (Gasp.) What will my mother say?

The Emotional Fear

Where did I go wrong, what should I have done differently? How will this affect my future? Is this my fault? What if I can’t find another job?

The list goes on.

And fear, I’m afraid, can be crippling. It can stop you from sleeping but yet keep you in bed. It can stop you from eating or help you eat too much. You can feel physical pain you can’t explain, your head hurts, your heart aches and your voice shrinks. You can, very easily, lose hope.

Other fears I won’t say are easily overcome. You may not suddenly or easily not kiss frogs, hug clowns, go diving or eat peaches. And as for me, the closest I care to come to overcoming my fear is from 12 feet away with a can of Bop in hand. But this particular predicament we’re in, this can be fixed.

The Practical Fix

Don’t keep it a secret. It may seem the last you want to do is tell people you owe that you’re not working and have no idea how you’re going to pay them.  But if they don’t know you can’t come up with the best possible payment plan together. And that’s just what you need to do. Work it out based on how far your savings can take you. No savings? Give yourself 3 months to find a job and therefore work on a 4 month projection. You’d be amazed to know that some creditors will give you an interest waiver, reduce your monthly payment or extend your payment dates.

Sign-up for unemployment. We seem to find something demoralizing about queuing in line with equally depressed people to get a stamp and money from the government. But remember all those months and years before you lost your job when you paid taxes? Sure you do. That money is no handout, it’s a return on your investment and you deserve it. Work some of it into that payment schedule you’re building but hold some back and save it. Just in case your unemployment runs out before your job hunting does, you’ll need a fall back plan.

The Relationship Fix

Hug your spouse more and say “pig-head” less. You’re going to feel angry. How dare they get rid of you? That’s a perfectly normal feeling. Yell, scream, bang, kick-box, just don’t do any off that to the one person who supports you. This will be hard time for your spouse too.  They will want to be there for you when you want to be alone. They will try to say the right thing when the only thing you want to hear is silence. They will help with the chores more than before and upset you because now you don’t have anything useful to do. Everything they do will be wrong. But don’t say so. Be honest, calmly. ‘Darling I’d like to be alone this evening’ may give both of you a much needed break. ‘Go away bird-brain’ will aggravate you both and right now, none of you needs it.  

Your children understand more than you think. Have you played one of your children’s video games recently? How far did you get? Thought so. Plan what you want to say, write a list if it helps and tell your children the truth. There are going to be some changes. I’ll do the best I can but from now on we’re going to eat Flakes with Frosting instead of Frosted Flakes. Our summer vacation will be postponed, but Mickey will have more time to find pants. It won’t be easy, but children love you no matter what and if you keep it simple, they’ll just be happy for more time with you anyway.

Parents and in-laws, don’t even think about them. They may not admit to it but at some point they’ve been laid off too.  Tell them over dinner, but before dessert, that way if they say anything you don’t like you won’t have to share the ice-cream. Usually though, they are very understanding and by giving them early notice, if you have to move in with them later, it won’t be a surprise.

The Emotional Fix

The Time Machine was just a movie. You can change it a million times in your head, but tomorrow morning when you wake up, nothing would have changed and you still don’t work there anymore. That’s because we can’t chance the past. You already knew that, so why are you holding on to it? Jog it out, stretch it out, cry it out and pray it off, but let it go. It’s taken me 6 months so don’t beat yourself up. Find the books and blogs and friends and eggnog to help, but the final release can only come from you. Know this though, whatever happened, happened. Learn from it and leave it. You’re now wiser than before and the company that let you go, can’t profit from your newly acquired wisdom.  Sucks to be them.  

Do Your Homework

We live in the age of technology, which means there’s a wealth of information readily available at your fingertips. There are websites, articles, expert opinions, photos, videos and blogs on just about every topic that exists. “Been there, done that” has never been more true and you can be almost anywhere and do nearly anything, all from the comfort of your own home.

Fortunately, you get to decide just how much of that world you care to be a part of. Only this weekend I met an intelligent young lady in her late teens who didn’t have, and refuses to get, a Facebook account.  Some of you just had a minor stroke at the thought. She doesn’t Twitter, Flicker, My Space, nothing. And (brace yourself), I know many more just like her.

When you’re not working there are many daily challenges and one minute to the next you can pull some new emotion out of thin air. Contrary to what others around you might say, you’re allowed, it’s ok. What your support group (family, friends and nosy acquaintances) need to understand, is that this transitional time for you, will also be a transitional time for them. They will need to be patient and cut you some slack. Don’t fake joy if you don’t feel it. You’ll feel worse as the days wear on. Be honest with those that love you and the rest, well, don’t bother about them right now. This is not your free pass to be cruel-at-will either, but a bit of bi-polar is permitted. The emotional roller-coaster you’re on means that you’ll likely want to hide from everyone. Because if one more person asks “so what are doing now”…let’s just say you can’t be held responsible for the outcome.

So disappear. That’s allowed too. For a little while any way. Update your privacy settings to ‘just me’, stop posting and stop responding. I don’t recommend deleting any accounts. While you may not believe this now, you will work again and when that happens you don’t want to have to start over. Also, bear in mind the better you hide and the longer you’re ‘off-air’, the harder it will be and the longer it will take to come back socially. No reason we should both get it wrong. This is how the technology age can make you feel like it’s working against you. 
 

What I’d like to inspire you to think about however, is how the technology age may work in your favor. Use everything that’s available to you, search the websites, articles, expert opinions, photos, videos and blogs and do some of that you’ve been doing, plus some of the things you haven’t and do it all differently.

First Things First

Customize your cover letter. There are endless tips for getting this right and better yet, there’s a marvelous supply of templates to choose from. Find them, use them and take the time to get it right. It’s the first impression you make.

The Newly Designed Honesty Policy

Update your cv. Honestly. Don’t fluff or bluff, but perhaps some color might work. I’ve been job hunting for 6 months now and I’ve had 6 resume designs. Keeping the look fresh helps to keep you from feeling bored with the routine. If you’ve sent that company an application before, now it’s a whole new you and they see it.  Again, there’s world of templates and topics to help you with this.

That Technology Thing

There’s a good chance that if your cover letter intrigued and your resume sold, your prospective employer will do their due diligence before giving you a call. In our times that means they may check you socially.  Make sure there’s nothing on there (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) you don’t want them to see, or be sure to keep it private to prevent them from seeing it.

Pre-Proposal

Seen all those articles loads of people take time to write about preparing for the interview? Read them. Flag the good ones, it will help the next person out. But here’s something they forget to tell you, after you read them, stand in tree pose...Why? Because one of the things that comes with losing your job is a serious loss of confidence and more important than not chewing gum in your interview, is believing in yourself. Do something that boosts your confidence and makes you feel good about you. Jog, hike, paint your toes, play your Wii, bathe the dog, do some yoga, or simply, stand in tree pose. But feel like you’ve conquered that room before you walk into it.

The Morning After

If they called, congratulations! But if they didn’t, keep moving forward. It’s a great time to call up a friend and be taken for ice-cream. Just be sure by the time the cone is gone, so is your disappointment. Don’t wallow in self pity, it’s their loss and you’ve got jobs to hunt for. You have a future to shape and you need the funds to sculpt it. Read up on an emotional recovery plan, watch a silly video on you tube, go for another jog, but put it behind you and pick up the classifieds.

Whatever help you need, it’s out there, floating around in cyberspace just waiting for you to reach out and grab it. So ask for a reference or find your own. Go for it. Tomorrow is your day.  

For Helpful Hunting:-

Caribbean: Caribbean Jobs  

International:  Forbes Recommended Websites for Job Hunting

Best Stressed

I recently read an interesting article ranking the most stressful jobs in 2010 [1]. First off, I’m not saying we should take such lists too seriously. Don’t be offended if your profession didn’t get on the list. Many of the ‘obvious’ professions didn’t either, the not so nice comments at the end of the article proves that. (Feel free to add your voice). Production and industry line workers didn’t make the cut. Nor did the overly-happy-to-see-you cashier at the Burger King counter, who gets to hear exactly how everyone has their burger their way for an 8 hour stretch.  Air traffic controllers, nurses, janitors, dishwashers and garbage collectors didn’t even get an honorary mention.  And while if you’re a Roustabout you might officially have the worst job of the year [2], you don’t seem to have a stressful one. Go figure. So let’s not put much faith in it, it’s all relative. But while working is stressful, which it is regardless of where you’re working or what your job is, is it possible that not working is even more so?

Working allows the opportunity to do many things we sometimes take for granted. If you have the big ‘w’ covered, work, all the other ‘w’s fall into place, the wheres, whats, whos, whens  and the whys. Working means you earn and earning in turn means the power is yours. You can choose where you live, how you decorate and the size of your tv. What you eat, where you eat at and how often. What you wear, who made it and how many colours you own. The phone you use, phone package you have, even what you watch, will be influenced directly by your earning power. Yes, what you watch. Because movies and cable aren’t free. Not legally anyway, but that’s another blog.

It all comes back to what you can afford. But here is where it gets interesting.  If you earn enough to cover the essentials (utilities, food, water etc.) and can still have enough to support a few things in the lifestyle you want, you’ll be content. For a little while anyway.  If you actually earn more than needed to cover essentials and fully support your lifestyle, you should be beyond content and somewhere in the happy zone.  Bear in mind that usually to earn the bigger dollars you work longer hours and seldom have sufficient time to enjoy the privilege. It’s a trade and balance act. Unfortunately this blog isn’t about you people, seek advice elsewhere. I recommend Google.

But if you can’t relate to the contented and happy, that’s because you’re in the other group.  Earning too little to cover the essentials and therefore have nothing left over for lifestyle. These troupers are the strugglers and the strugglers are, you guessed it, stressed. [3]

So while we appreciate the time and effort put into composing these lists and although we’ll keep firefighters, taxi-drivers and surgeons on our nightly prayer lists, let’s not waste precious time bickering over who has the most stressful job. Contrary to what the so called experts say, the most stressful job is not having one. Congratulations all unemployed, we’ve finally topped a list. Get ready for the Red Carpet! We are the Best Stressed.  

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[1] Reference: CNBC.com: America’s Most Stressful Jobs 2010

[2] Reference: Career Cast: 10 Worst Jobs of 2010

[3] Reading, self help: Understanding Stress

Long live the King

I was standing contentedly in the patio sipping my morning mug of coffee. It was such a lovely morning, pretty and peaceful and the only interruption was the sound of the garbage-truck making it's intermittent stops as it slowing progressed down the street. Nothing beckoned my urgent attention, I have no job to rush to, so I waited for the truck to appear. I waved to the driver when he came into view, he smiled and nodded a polite reply. The worker was distracted by the bins for awhile, but as he passed me, our eyes met. As before, I smiled over my mug and waved. Caught up with his work he didn't reply. It was some seconds later before our eyes met again. By then my mind had wondered and my smile had faded, replaced by a furrowed brow and the soft beginning of a frown. He stared for a moment and I can only describe his expression as a scowl. Shaking his head is despair, he leaped onto the truck, slapped the side powerfully twice and along with truck and driver disappeared from my view.

He snubbed me.

What was that about? Now I was disturbed. His look bothered me. I stood there for awhile listening to the fading sounds of the truck and feeling the heat in my mug cool. I seem to have offended my garbage-man. I believe he mistook my pensive look for pity. If only he knew. I was at the moment he caught my contemplative stare, envying him, his work. I was thinking that his job is a hard one and I wondered if his boss praised him. I wondered if he had a family and if his family appreciated his efforts. I wondered in those seconds how much he was paid and if all his bills would be settled. I did not look down on you my dear garbage-man, I admired you, your work.

I almost dressed and ran after him to explain but by then I couldn't hear the truck any more. One day I will help him understand. He is working and I am not. In the land of the unemployed, the garbage-man is king.

Objective: Get out of bed

It started like any other day. The sun rose, the birds chirped, the dogs barked, the morning air was fresh. I half expected Mr. Rogers to open my bedroom door and burst into “it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood”. So when the mailman showed up it was just in keeping with the theme. Until, that is, I inspected the mail a little closer. Let’s see, bill, bill, thank you note from church I attended with invite to come back (not likely, they were weird), bill and ah, why yes, a bill. And just like that my glorious morning turned gloomy.   

While unemployment generally sucks, every day isn’t the same. Some days you’ll awake ready to conquer the universe. Some you’ll be quiet and reflective. On others you’ll busy yourself with chores, and the sense of accomplishment that comes from a clean house will minimize the rejection you feel from an empty in-box.  There are days of despair, loneliness and confusion. Days of optimism, faith and hope.  

And then, there are days like today. When going back to bed and starting over seems the only sensible option. Apologies to those who were expecting some profound note of wisdom, today I have none. I’m going back to bed and to sleep.  I’ll try again tomorrow. We’ll go hunting together then. Promise.

It's Hunting Season

With 15 million unemployed and an estimated 10 million more to follow by the end of this year, job competition is rough. To put it mild. And it’s not just those of us who aren’t working that are job hunting, businesses are reporting that staff morale is at an all time low, workers are extremely unhappy, so the employed are job-hunting too.  And, here’s the real kicker, there are less jobs available than ever before.

At first, many corporations tried, (bless them) to reduce staff hours per week, then days per week, then weeks per month. Wages fell, salaries fell, then staff reductions began. For many businesses the projected financial “upswing” didn’t come, recovery was impossible, bankruptcy inevitable and many an organization closed. The other problem is that some of those won’t be reopening. Ever. And the ones that do may not resume business-as-usual, so don’t anticipate those jobs will reappear. It seems gloomy. Well, that’s the sad truth.

So what are we to do?

Here’s my take.

1. Keep hunting, the season is still open.

But don’t wait for the deer to fall out the sky. Do the usual, check the newspapers, the websites etc. Look for one full-time or many part-time jobs. But keep looking. And also do the unusual. Stalk if required. (Yes, I said it). Don’t underestimate the power of the ‘phone-a-friend’ lifeline. It doesn’t even have to be a friend, so what if you don’t remember his last name, he came to your Christmas party, call him. Network. Truthfully I didn’t do much of this at first, so if you don’t feel up to mingling I understand. But I got over it and you will too. Let’s suck it up and get to it. See you at the next shindig!

2. Put your hobbies to work.

We’re all good at something. Stop scratching your head and give yourself a break, it’s true. Whatever that is find a way to put it to use. It may be a little odd or end but all those odds and ends add up pretty quickly and still pay a bill or two. I do manicures and pedicures. (Yes, that’s a blatant ad. It’s my blog. Call me!) If you bake well ask permission and set up a table outside your church. If you bake poorly Betty Crocker can help. Can you sew, paint, teach, play an instrument, walk a dog? Even a karaoke competition is fair game right now. Find it, use it.

3. Become your own employer.

Seems almost obvious, but for a lot of us, this is really hard to do. Many companies are looking for part-time consultants instead of full-time staff. If you have the experience to do this, have a go at it. Bear in mind however, that this may take start-up funds. So that part-time job or those cake sale funds will come in handy.

4. Take time for you.

Extended unemployment is one of the hardest things some of us will face. Losing your job will affect your finances, but also your confidence, energy, faith, peace, sleep, appetite and your joy. It’s not a happy time but it’s down time you can turn into up time. Remember the things while you were slaving away at work you said you’d like to do? Have an impromptu picnic in the park, take a swim at the beach in the afternoon, read an old classic you liked at school, sleep? Take time to do it and really enjoy it. The ones who are working wish they could do it and don’t have the time. Hey, just because they can pay bills, doesn’t mean they should have all the fun. Keep living.

And just for the record, while I used hunting as an analogy I don’t endorse it. Live and let live. Bambi ain’t do you nothing.

Unemployment 101. You're not alone.

Since the recession hit in December 2007, it’s currently estimated that over 15 million people worldwide are unemployed. Yet somehow, when you got up this morning (for those who actually bothered to get up), you felt it was just you. 

It’s not.

Welcome to unemployment. Join the club. Unfortunately the club is surprisingly and frighteningly large and you don’t get anything for joining.  It just sucks, big time. Take it from someone who’s been a member for a while now. There isn’t an honorary status before you ask. How long you’ve been in or frequently you come back doesn’t make a difference. Membership is non-discriminatory, open to anyone, from anywhere, of any colour, class, creed, race, height, social, financial or spiritually background and where you did or didn’t go to school doesn’t matter either. Here, we’re all the same. Broke.

In the beginning it’s not too bad. Sort of like a mini-vacation. After-all, you’ll be working again in no time so why not enjoy the break. You stay up and sleep in, eat when you feel like and generally do what you like. Day time programming is exciting. At first. You take yoga, eat ice-cream, and browse the classifieds being very selective, looking for that perfect job. At first. Then the bills come in and the funds get low and the daytime programming gets to be too familiar and boring. Staying up late is silly, only re-runs show and you’ve seen the re-runs too many times now. Before you know it, it’s been months. And some of those jobs you may have glanced over get your full attention now. And then you start sleeping in. Waking up is harder and less frequent. And no-one else seems to get it. People who love you want you to get out of bed, get dressed, come out, watch a movie, laugh a little, be yourself and other such drivel. All you want to do is disappear. See it’s all very confusing. Your world doesn’t make sense anymore, it changed without warning and it’s been too long now to still have faith, but somehow, life seems to have gone on.  

For those who still dare to venture outside (careful, someone could see you), just walk past a news-stand and see covers with Stars still showing up on red carpets. All the best glossies are still printing the evidence of this fact and hark!, dare to tell who they wore and worse yet, who they arrived with. Staying in? Me too. But turn the telly on and find the wrong channel and a super cute and wonderfully insensitive host will help you recreate one of those same red carpet looks for less. Less? Seriously? I’ve got less and it isn’t enough to help me look like that. Not that I can afford to go anywhere.

Of course the reminders that you’re not in the land of the gainfully employed are evident in little things too. Instant coffee has replaced the morning double double espresso from the café. Flip flops drag around instead of heels. Nail polish is chipped, hair needs a trim, designer liquid soaps are replaced with the economically sensible bars and steak for dinner means burgers.  Your Facebook account is so private you’re the only one who can see it and you don’t Tweet no more.

Feel like a loser yet? You’re not. You are someone who has lost but you’re certainly no loser. Some of us lost one thing or two as a result of unemployment and some of us lost a whole lot.  Jobs, then furniture, light, heat, phone, water, furniture, cars, homes, spouses and every combination of the above.  And all of it hurts. Hurts bad.

Inhale, one long, deep breath…now exhale.

Whatever your loss, it’s time to start moving on. Every day won’t be the same. Trust me. Some days you’ll get up and others you’re still going to want to sleep in. Go with it. You’ll still be hurt, maybe angry, you may cry. The key thing is not to be down on yourself. You’re not a loser. And there’s over 15 million of us, you’re not alone.

Embrace what it is. By not going to the café you can drink your Jamaican Blue Mountain brew without saying false hellos to people you don’t like. Walk past the newsstand without looking. But should you have to glance, remember they’ve all been airbrushed anyway. Flip past the silly channels but if you can’t, only watch the commercials. Stick buttons on your flip flops and start a new trend or just wear your heels to the supermarket. Trim your own hair, if it goes wrong post it on Facebook and start a new style. Bars of soap keep the bathroom scented and let’s face it, burgers rock! Oh, and about that Facebook page, you don’t have 3,000 “Friends”. You really don’t. Keep the essentials and block or delete the rest. Hey, unless they’ve been helping you pay bills, buy food or stay chipper you during this time, you don’t need to care what they think about being deleted.  Tweet happy thoughts and stay positive.  

When all else fails, find a fellow member to talk to. If no one else gets it, I do. 

Reference source: BBC News